Vegan Triple D #2: Suicide Fries

Ironically, they're one of the many reasons to keep on living.

Musical Accompaniment: "Death 9000" by Mux Mool

Chilies and spicy food. I go through these phases where I want my tongue burned out of my skull. So, when I heard the phrase "suicide fries" and learned of its habanero sauce, I knew I had to have this rare, "accidentally vegan" recipe showcased on the Network of Food. 

From the show, I guessed at the proportions and then made a small batch version of the sauce. Clearly, if you are in Las Vegas and can go to Naked City Pizza (recipe's origin), then good for you. For those of us without such privileges, we'll just have to duplicate as best we can.

As a side note: because of the peppers, it reminded me of Batata Harra (spicy potatoes of Lebanese origin). All it's missing is the cumin seeds, curry leaves, and fresh coriander/cilantro. All I'm sayin' is that you could add these things...

COMPONENTS

• Three habaneros, cleaned with stems removed
• One small onion, chopped
• Two garlic cloves, chopped
• Three tablespoons of red wine vinegar 
• Hot sauce (which brand is your choice; about a 1/3 cup or so)
• Two each of cherry peppers, jalapenos, seranos + One peppercini (all chopped)
• Two or three red potatoes
• An undefined amount (to your taste) of chopped Italian parsley, as well as S&P

PHASE 1: The Suicide Sauce 

1. Begin by caramelizing one small onion and two garlic cloves on low heat. (You could just brown the onions, but keep in mind that the sauce we're making will have you wanting the caramelized onions' sugar to combat the heat.)
2. Once that's finished, set a pan on medium-hot with about a half tablespoon of cooking oil; then add three habaneros (which, again, should be rinsed and have their stems cut off, but otherwise be intact). Stir them frequently until their skins have browned a little.
3. Add in the onions/garlic, then deglaze your pan with three tablespoons of red wine vinegar. Expect a lot of pain from the hab vapors.
4. Season up the pan with S&P and a little minced Italian parsley. Immediately after, glug in a hot sauce of your choice and allow it to simmer with the rest of the ingredients for a few minutes. (FYI: In the original recipe, the chef used Frank's Red Hot.)
5. Allow the contents of your pan to cool, then pour it all into a food processor to shred into a smooth sauce. 

PHASE 2: The Pepper Medley

1. Chop up two cherry peppers, two jalapenos, two seranos, and one long peppercini. (Whether to leave in the seeds is your business; remember that more seeds/veins = more burn.)
2. Sauté your pepper slices with a pinch of salt.
3. After they've softened a bit, add some water to the pan and let them sweat down. When they're in the state you want (i.e. softened), remove from heat.

 

PHASE 3: Potatoes and Assembly

1. Fry up (I prefer to bake) some fresh cut red potatoes, making sure to drain them of all excess oil, then season with S&P + chopped Italian parsley.
2. Create a nest of fries on a plate, then pile on the pepper medley and drench in suicide sauce. 
3. Keep a spoon of peanut butter on hand, just in case you can't handle the heat. And, yes, your bumhole might burn later on, but that first bite is definitely worth it.

It should look like this before you do a faceplant.

 

One last thing: If you like Guy Fieri and want to make slightly healthier (or vegan) versions of the recipes from his shows, then check out this cool blog I found: Guy Gone Vegan. It's written by a Brooklyn cooking enthusiast.